The Borrowing Thief

It has been brought to my attention that my mother has been stealing flowers from the neighborhood.

Here is the phone conversation:

Mom: You should see these salmon colored roses I borrowed from Maureen. It’s too bad they are not in HER house for HER to enjoy instead of mine but she doesn’t even know they are there!

Me: Mom I think she knows.  She planted them.

Mom: She can’t see them under there. They are spilling onto the sidewalk. Teresa snips the ones that are hidden.  It’s really not stealing.  It’s borrowing. Actually, it’s just transferring them to a beautiful house where they are extremely happy.

OMG

Teresa, (the saint), lives with mom and takes care of her.  Mom has been in a wheelchair for the last couple of years and needs full-time live-in help. What these two characters do, on a fairly regular basis judging by the number of knockout roses around my mother’s house, is they wheel around the corner pretending they are out for a nice stroll. Teresa carries a small pair of scissors on the back of mom’s wheelchair and mom does the directing of which ones to go for.

Me: Teresa, I understand you and mom have been “borrowing” flowers from the neighbors.

Teresa: She is the mastermind (pointing at mom)

When I told my husband the story he said:

Dan: Oh, I forgot to tell you…when I took our moms to the Botanical Gardens that day I witnessed your mom eyeballing a peony plant then whisper to Teresa “Did you bring the scissors?”

OMG