Copper Penny

I was barreling down the Garden State Parkway the other day with my friend Sue doing 85 mph.  We were on route to buy merch for her fabulous store, The Silk Road, when on my butt appeared a sci-fi vehicle from Blade Runner circa 1982.  Black, stealth, not scary just curious.  It wasn’t until the flick of the lights that I knew it was a cop and I knew he was after me.

Me: I’m pretty sure we are being nailed by the police.

Sue: Uh oh (while flipping through an interior design magazine).

Me: I’m doing 85.

Sue: Yikes.

Me: Don’t worry.  99.9% of the time I get off.  Let’s hope I’m still on a winning streak.

I have to say he was very cordial about the way he pulled me over. He wasn’t obnoxious.  Just a couple flashes of the headlights.  No siren. No bull horn.  Just a couple flicks.

It took some maneuvering with traffic and limited shoulder space but I managed to get my red Volvo station wagon off the road while remaining cool as a cucumber.  Believe me, I’ve been here before.

Showtime!

Frank “Ponch” Poncherello’s twin brother got out of his vehicle and approached my car.  Looking at me through the open passenger window I could tell he was checking out what Sue was reading, I was half hoping he would comment on the latest Victoria Hagen spread but no, he had other things on his mind.

Me: Hi Officer!

Ponch: Ma’am. I have pulled you over because you did not use your signal when changing lanes.  License and registration, please.

What????!!!!  Is that even a thing??? Is that really enough to be pulled over on the highway?  I know you are SUPPOSE to indicate when making a turn or switching lanes, but is it really ticket worthy? Has ANYONE in the last 126 years been pulled over for that fairly minor (in my book its minor but who cares about my book) moving violation? I am really lucky he didn’t ask me what all cops ask me (and there have been many):

Cop: Do you know why I am pulling you over?

Me: Because I was flooring it at 85 mph, 20 over the speed limit?

Phew.  Dodged that bullet.

I am serious.  I can’t believe this guy was sitting on the side of the road inside his futuristic driving machine, not clocking drivers like me flying down the parkway at top speed, but watching for failure to indicate!  I almost burst out laughing when he told me the charge. That action,  I’m quite sure, would not have gone well.

Me: He is not going to give me a ticket.  I can feel it in my bones.  He is not finding a thing on my record.  Clean as a whistle.  At least it has been since 1988.

Sue: Ok.  Whatever you say.

Me: We are two middle-aged women in a Volvo reading Veranda magazine.  He will take pity.

We hear his boots coming.  He is carrying a little machine.  It looks like the same machine I used earlier in the day to swipe my credit card to buy two bottles of shampoo and a bag of cotton balls.  It spits out a piece of paper which he hands to me.

Ponch: I am giving you a warning

Me: Thank you, officer.  I am truly grateful (another one for the books).

Ponch: Now be careful pulling out onto the road.

I peel out and thread my way back into traffic.  I look in my rearview mirror to see if he is following us or setting up for another “lack of indication” sting.  Not very macho if you ask me.

Sue: Ok let’s take it easy the rest of the way.

Me: OMG did I just NOT use my turn signal? I am so used to NOT using it I don’t know when I AM using it!!!

Wow. I need help.  One day I’m not going to be so lucky.

Later I googled “Is it against the law to not use your turn signal?”

“Yes, it’s illegal if you do not signal your intentions before maneuvers.  You are legally required to signal before pulling over, pulling into traffic, lane changing, parking, merging, turning right and left, etc. And yes you can get a ticket for failing to signal your intentions.

Depending on the circumstances, in some jurisdictions, like New York City, failure to use a turn signal or an unsafe lane change can lead to being charged with reckless driving which is a crime and carries 5 points, a fine, and potentially jail time.”

You’re welcome.